Contradictory proverbs

Contradictory proverbs.... Interesting !

Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction.

Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb! There always exists two sides of the same coin.

U be the judge..

All good things come to those who wait.
BUT
Time and tide wait for no man.

The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free things..
BUT
There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Slow and steady wins the race.
BUT
Time waits for no man.

Look before you leap.
BUT
Strike while the iron is hot.

Do it well, or not at all.
BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT
Opposites attract.

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.

Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain't over 'till it's over.

Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

You're never too old to learn.
BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man's food is another man's poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.

Too many cooks spoil the broth.
BUT
Many hands make light work.

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Dear Dad Funny Letter

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS:

Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you!

Your loving daughter,
Rosie

***********

Different types of Man

Men are of different types

Some Examples -

INTERNET man - Man of difficult access

SERVER man - Always busy when you need him

WINDOWS man - Everyone knows that he can't do a thing right, but no one can live without him

EXCEL man - They say he can do a lot of things, but you mostly use him to achieve your basic requirements

D.O.S. Man - Everyone had him, but no one wants him any more

VIRUS man - Also known as spouse, when you are not expecting him, he comes , install himself and uses all your resources, if you try to uninstall him you will lose something, if you don't uninstall him you will lose everything.

SCREENSAVER man - he is not worth for anything, but at least he is fun

RAM man - he forgets everything you say when you disconnect him

HARD DISK man - he remembers everything forever

MULTIMEDIA man - he makes horrible things look beautiful

USER man - he messes up everything he does and he ask always more than he needs

CD-ROM man - he is always faster and faster

Signs your mate is cheating

Working a Lot of Overtime: this enables them to meet their lover after work

Excessive Use of the Internet: a way for men to meet other women in chat rooms.

Hiding the Cell Phone Bill: the #1 way to find out who the lover is.

Saying, "It's Your Imagination": this is what is told to you when you're too close to the truth.

Receiving Hang Up Phone Calls: the paramour calling your house to speak with your mate, or the signal used when she's trying to get in touch with him.

No Longer Interested in Sex: saving their emotion for their lover.

No Longer Wearing Wedding Ring: a sign telling everyone "I am single."

New Sexual Techniques: what your spouse learned from their lover.

Saying "I Need My Space": when your spouse moves to the next stage of taking his/ her affair more seriously.

LET ME LOVE YOU

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl.

This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... Heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...

"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... And he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb.

Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... Therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

Hijackers' trick

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of politicians.

They called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands weren't met, they would release one politician every hour.

............ ......... ......... ......... ...

Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.

Doctor: Don't worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it's the turn of the 90 percent survivors.

............ ......... ......... ......... ...

Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."

Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

............ ......... ......... ......... ...

"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."

"Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."

............ ......... ......... ......... ...

Funny quotes

Beware of New X-Ray Machines

Food Creations

A pretty cool ride - Serious Fun

Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Calendar made by Matches

LOVE TECHNOLOGY & DESIGN? MUST JOIN GROUP...