Just 4 Fun: August 2009

Monday, August 31, 2009

Some light jokes ( Funny jokes )

Some light jokes

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer:No, I can't.
Waiter:Then does it really matter?
~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,
"Daddy!Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well, "began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief :Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief:But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief :Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
~~~~~~~~
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy:Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy :No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~
There was a brilliant student and his General Knowledge (*GK*) was excellent.
He won every GK Quiz he took part in ....
Then one day he fell in love with a girl...
He proposed the girl, but she flatly rejected him The poor Indian fellow was heart-broken. .
Strangely, after this episode, he became very weak at GK, he stopped taking part in GK Quizzes.....
Now, can u tell WHY ???
Jab Dil Hi Toot Gaya Toh GK Kya Karenge!!
~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband:Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :Yes and no.
~~~~~~~

There are more jokes for you click on the link below...(must read)

(1)Certain Things In Life ! (2)Cough it up ! (3)Pack of Jokes... (4)HIJACK !!! (5)Overconfidence !!!

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Saturday, August 29, 2009

FW: :Beautiful Flowers ( must see )

----- Original Message -----
Subject: :Beautiful Flowers ( must see )
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 2009 13:32:57
From: Silvia D'silva <Undisclosed@.missing.host.name>

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( Guys Watch This Funny Video And Enjoy It ) Impressive Office Camouflage

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FW: ( Enjoy it and forward ) Resumes and Cover Letters

----- Original Message -----
Subject: ( Enjoy it and forward ) Resumes and Cover Letters
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 2009 8:45:48
From: Shilpa Malhotra <Undisclosed@.missing.host.name>

Resumes and Cover Letters

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1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms. 3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave. 5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
7. Its best for employers that I not work with people. 8. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience. 9. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time. 10. Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details.
11. I was working for my mom until she decided to move. 12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments. 13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs ... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail. 15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing. 16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant. 18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments. 19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far. 20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job. 22. Marital status: often. Children: various. 23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. Every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers. 25. Finished eighth in my class of ten. 26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

More Jokes & Humor for U !-) ( click on the links below )

| Resumes and Cover Letters | Wacky Definitions | Letter to Ex-girlfriend |

| English -- Briton Vs Asian | Where u are |

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......

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Thursday, August 27, 2009

He, who loses money ( Short sms )

He, who loses money

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He, who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.

............ ......... ......... ......... .....

Anger is only one letter short of danger
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

............ ......... ......... ......... .....

Do not make ur aim like the garden because everyone walk on it But make ur aim like the sky so everyone wish to touch it.

............ ......... ......... ......... .....

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

"Treat everyone with politeness,
even those who are rude to you,
not because they are not nice,
but because YOU are nice!.

............ ......... ......... ......... .....

More nice SMS Quotes for U ! ( click on the link below )

People are like | different roads | A nice saying | A NiceThought

Wisdom is | The Golden words | You can live without

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........