Scoring points ( Very Good Humor ) for marriage

Scoring points     In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES - You make the bed (+1) - You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) - You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) - You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) - In the rain hand in hand (+80) - You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) - You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) - You pummel it with iron rod (+10) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS - You stay by her side the entire party (0) - You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2) - Named Tina (-4) - Tina is a dancer (-1000) HER BIRTHDAY - You take her out to dinner (0) - Okay, it's a sports bar (-2) - And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3) - It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10) A NIGHT OUT - You take her to a movie (+2) - You take her to a movie she likes (+4) - You take her to a movie you hate (+6) - You take her to a movie you like (-2) - It's called 'DeathCop' (-3) YOUR PHYSIQUE - You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) - You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) - You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000) ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION - She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE> points no matter what] - You hesitate in responding (-10) - You reply, "Where?" (-35) COMMUNICATION - When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned ____expression (0) - You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) - You listen for more than 30 minutes without lookin at the TV (+500) *******